Oops! I Lost My Zen!
Two weeks ago, I noticed that I was losing my Zen. You know, that fiery passion to be joyful, peaceful, empowering, and awesome. Of course, I didn’t notice at first. I felt that if I continued to do everything I’m supposed to and continue to motivated others, then hey, I was fine. What I should’ve given more attention to was what I felt inside. Not outside.
I never even knew I could lose Zen or inspiration. I thought that Zen would always be with me considering I’m an L.O.A. (Law of Attraction) junkie. Then something happened. A month ago, I lost a loved one. Someone that believed in me and my vision. My feelings were all over the place, but I somehow convinced myself to keep going, keep pushing, and that may have been the worse mistake I made.
The weirdest thing is that most of my friends didn’t even realize I had lost my Zen. I was still happy in conversations, still giving advice that inspired everyone around me, and still walking in my purpose with my head held high. I thought that these things made me strong and it prompted more relationships and lots of new friends. I wish I would’ve known what caused me to lose what once gave me so much life. But I didn’t and now I know why.
I wasn’t empowered by the same things anymore. This could’ve been because I wasn’t following the same practices as before. When I say before, I’m reaching back as early as January 2016. Before I got published on The Huffington Post; before I self-published my first Best-Selling book; and before my business grew beyond measure.
I noticed 3 key elements missing from my life:
- Knowledge. I am fueled by ideas, creativity, and intelligence. It keeps my mind thinking and helps a lot with my writing. Not to mention, it broadens my perspective and encourages thought provoking conversations. And I so needed something new to talk about.
- Peace. Before my business exploded, I remember feeling at one and confident in my life. Since I am quite the introverted spirit, peace gives me something to be at ease about. With anxiety waiting to escape my very busy mind all the time, finding time to be at peace and cater to me, was and is extremely important. Without peace, my brain is restless and easily distracted. How could I be missing such an important ingredient in my life?
- Intuition. Being an entrepreneur means making the right choices. Over the last 5 months, I have misplaced one of my biggest rules. I call them “Non-Negotiables.” If you’re a fan of my books, you’ve probably red all about them. If not, go get my Best Selling guide, “A Fearless Guide To Manifesting, Launching, & Celebrating Female Entrepreneurship” HERE! Non-Negotiables are the things that you stand on within your business or life that reflect your morals and core values. I may not have crossed these boundaries physically, but I did emotionally. It was time that I started trusting and speaking up on my feelings about things.
Money has never been something that motivated me, so I can’t blame greed. I noticed myself lacking the ability to say no. Even my clients could smell it on me. They began using my vulnerable moment to strike a discounted or free deal. This had to stop.
So how did I get my Zen back?
Well, I took back my crown! Since becoming conscious of these things, I have added a few more books to my Kindle Unlimited collection. Books that inspire humanity and reflection like self-help, motivational, and even biographies of empowering women.
I also found peace re-practicing the Law Of Attraction in my life. Even increasing my meditation from 10 to 20 minutes.
On top of it all, I finally said no to those clients. I was no longer working for me, but for them. It sounds great, but if you are an entrepreneur you understand how horrible that must’ve been. Now my clients set appointments, respect my business, and also they began to encourage my new ethics. Giving me testimonials of how professional and organized business has been since I made those changes. Hearing this gave me so much life!
Some would agree that I had forgotten myself. And my interpretation of that is almost like saying that I had forgotten where I came from or started. I could never misplace those memories. They are the very reason I aspire to inspire so many now!
My analysis is that the thrill and passion we feel when we start something, should remain consistent the entire way through. That means you have to have your plan together from the very beginning. Not just your business plan or your college plan, but YOUR plan. Ask yourself questions like, “How will I stay motivated?’ “When will I make time for me?” “What do I believe in?” These are questions anyone with air to breathe should ask themselves everyday. Not only will it sustain consistence, but it will also remind you of everything you believe in to keep going. I can finally say that I got my Zen back. 🙂
“Find what makes you happy and stay happy.”
-India Rochelle
I can tell that I’m going to love your blog just by this post. 😊 You seem like a great role model!
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Thank you Iliana! I am loving your blog as well! Do you mind if I reblog your article on mean girls? I absolutely love it and think it would really relate with my audience.
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Go ahead! I’d be so glad if you did. 😊 I look forward to reading all of your posts!
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Great! And dido that! Your posts are amazing too! ✊👑😘
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Dear India,
LOVED the title of your blog post! I think we all go thru those times of giving too much. Scott Ginsberg, (“that Nametag Guy”) wrote a piece on boundaries. He’d referenced a therapist who was asked if she got exhausted from dealing with emotionally charged sessions with her patients. She said, “Emotional demands of patients are not exhausting when you have proper boundaries.” That’s sometimes a challenge when it comes to being in a healing/helping profession. I ask myself, “Is this person or situation energizing or de-energizing?” and act accordingly. Sometimes it’s just that I’m tired and need some alone time to recharge my batteries. (Fellow introvert, here. Have you seen that T-shirt? “Introverts unite! Individually.”) Other times, it really is about setting limits. Or as Brene Brown says, “OK, not OK.”
On another note: I think there’s this idea that in order to be “spiritual,” we’re not supposed to grieve when someone dies. They’ve passed on or over or transitioned or transcended. All of which is to say that they’re not here. And you can’t hug them or pop round for a cup of tea or pick up the phone. It’s an adjustment and a loss, no matter if you believe in an afterlife or not. A month is spit in the world of grieving. It takes time and it’s hard work and it’s exhausting. I’m on the other side of the worst of it with my mother’s death 5 months ago, but I can tell you in those early days and weeks, I just wanted COMFORT. It’s not what I knew, it was what was missing in my heart. Now, I KNOW love never dies. I KNOW that’s my connection to loved ones who have died. It still hurts. And that’s OK. There comes a point where I can think of that person (or dog) and smile at the memories. I wish you COMFORT, 🙂 Hali
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Thank you so much Hali (gorgeous name). I agree that us spiritual beings are thought to be okay with death and celebrate life instead of greiving. I never thought of it that way, but you’re totally right. Being an introvert makes it really hard too because usually we tend to like being alone with our thoughts and feelings. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog! Your input has seriously made grief for a spiritual person like me, make sense. (Sounds like a new blog post is needed to touch base on that aspect.) Lol.
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I needed this . And for a while I was so tired and uninspired . And I didn’t know how to get back on track. Then I started being sooooo toxic to myself saying things like I’m not working hard enough or I’m being lazy . Thank you for this India.
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Jessica,
You’re welcome! I am so grateful that it could be helpful for you. As creatives, we have to keep what inspires us in the forefront. Why? Because when there are rough times or hurdles that need to be crossed we need to have the inspiration there to keep going and believe in ourselves. Thank you for taking the time out to read my blog Jessica.
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Great post. Yes very important to keep asking ourselves those questions. You need to keep maintaining inspiration which will see you through dark days. Well said!
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Thank you Mhairi! I’m actually starting an enlightenment journey July 1st. I’m journaling my entire experience here https://medium.com/indias-enlightenment-journey
If you’re not on Medium you should definitely consider it. It’s like social media meets WordPress. And it’s actually pretty awesome!
Thank you so much again for the kind words!
India Rochelle
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